Conversation between me and the screen of the scanner:
Scanner: CREDIT OR DEBT?
Me: Debt.
Scanner: IS THE FOLLOWING AMOUNT CORRECT?
Me: Yes.
Scanner: PLEASE SIGN BELOW.
Me: Draws penis.
Scanner: THANK YOU. APPROVED.
I then motion to put the selector-pen back into its holster, and manage to rip the entire processing machine off it's little podium and onto the counter.
Me: GOOD GOD. DOES THAT HAPPEN ALL THE TIME?
Checker: No, actually. HEHEH. In slightly lower-pitched, comical voice..."JUST RUN!"
Me: HAH. EH...OKAY MERRY CHRISTMAS BYE